Thumbs Up…or down.

Well, I’m typing this without the use of my thumbs.

Actually, the week started off great. My wife and I began a new program we developed called “Living 180.” It encompasses diet, finances and everything in order to turn our lives around. Our site is myspace.com/living180. Check it out!

A few days ago I was doing a very normal grooming task. i was cutting my nails. My thumbnail was hanging on for dear life, so I yanked it out. Apparently, yanking is not something a thumb likes. Three days later, a massive infection.

I, like alot of men, felt the infection would take care of itself. What can I say…me and the Docs don’t mix well. My wife, however, had other plans for me this morning when she woke up and saw my thumb, twice it’s normal size. Off to Urgent care we went.

Remember the old days when doctors used to say things like “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt a bit”? My doctor started off by saying “Man, you’re not gonna like this. This is gonna hurt!”

And it went downhill from there.

Flash forward to lunch. I’m cutting an apple. But all our knives are dirty. Instead of washing one, I use a bread knife. It slips, and I cut the other thumb. Ouch.

I am a moron.

That being said…it could be worse. As I’m writing this, Syracuse threw a 79 yard pass for a touchdown to start the game off with Louisville. I could be a Cards fan right now.

Oh wait. It is worse. I’m a Notre Dame fan.

Dirty Rotten Cheaters!

Wow! Some big time cheatin’ goin’ on in the past week!

The Patriots get nailed for video taping Jets signals…$750,000 in total fines.

Team McLaren in F1 Racing gets caught with secret info on opponents cars…total fines of $100,000,000. Yes, that’s $100 million!

OJ getting caught in a “secret sting operation” to retrieving his stuff…total fine…our dignity for having to watch his crap on tv again.

Gotta tell ya…I love sports as much as the next guy. Yes, even if the next guy is Ross and his wall-Lion. However, I am in awe that $100,750,000 in fines have been levied against only two organizations. Am I concerned because of the stupid amounts of cash that needlesly flows through the sports world? Is it because we,as fans, are following these stories like our lives depended on it? Or, is it because i am concerned about the well being of the victims in the cases?

No. None of the above.

$100 million!!??! Man, my hardest decision today was if I should buy a name brand can of peas and use a coupon, or go with the Kroger brand.

$100 million???!!!? I’m wearin’ underwear that’s 8 years old because I can’t justify the rising cost of woven cotton!

$100 million?!!? My dogs eat food that’s $3.99 for a 50lb bag because I believe it’s the same as Iams…a dog food conspiracy that goes all the way to the top!

There it is. I just can’t imagine having $100 million…let alone having $100 million to waste on a fine.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to find that coupon that gets me a $4.99 haircut at Great Clips.

That’s interesting

Not much to talk about today, however I have found an interesting fact..,

According to Lexus Nexus, this week’s most mentioned headline had to do with…not the anniversary of 911. Not the announcement by our general in Iraq. Not escalating oil prices. Not anything that seems remotely important.

Our #1 headline so far this week has been about: Brittany’s performance at the Video Music Awards.

I can’t even add to that.

Say It Ain’t So, Joe!

Well, Political Correctness has struck once again. And, once again, it’s at an icon that we have held sacred for 35 years…G.I. Joe.

Paramount Pictures is getting ready to start production on the new G.I. Joe movie. That’s great, because we all know that G.I. Joe is an American Hero, and now more than ever, We need American Heroes!

Alas, Paramount’s accountants don’t see it that way. G.I. Joe (standing for Government Issue), will no longer be an American soldier. They money counters at the studio felt that would not make it a big enough draw to international audiences. Instead, Joe will be part of a global task force. G.I. Joe will now stand for “Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity.”

Aaawww, crap. They had to ruin a good thing. What’s next? Will they take away Joe’s Kung Fu Grip and replace it with, say, the ability to speak French and Retreat at will?

Maybe he’ll also have the uncanny ability to seek out and correct environmental hazards worldwide that may lead to the acceleration of global warming. One could only hope…

All I know is this: Almost everything from my childhood has been updated to fit a politically correct world, except for two things. As long as they never tell me that too much sugar, or too much TV is bad for me, then I guess I can survive.

Bored and Dangerous

When I’m bored, a couple of JPEGS, some editing equipment and a microphone is a dangerous thing. I think back to my days at Carroll High School in Dayton Ohio, and I remember the teachers all saying what great potential I had…that I could do anything I wanted.

To those teachers, I dedicate these two achievements.

Mr. Spielberg, I apologize.

Just Like Crack…

Well, like most every other new fad, I’ve finally fallen in line about 3 years to late. I have finally signed up for MySpace.

I’ve always fought that urge before, because I thought it was only for the hip, or suedo-hip, crowd.
Well, I think I’m still right about that, however, a bad thing has happened: I seem to have gotten myself hooked on the dang thing.

First thing I do in the morning is see if someone added me as a friend.

Every 20 minutes at work, I switch the screen over to Myspace to see if someone added me as a friend.

The last thing I do at night is look to see if someone has added me as a friend.

As I see it, I’ve got one of two really bad issues: I’m either addicted, like a crack addict, to MySpace, or, I’ve got some real friend issues.

I don’t know which it is, but I have to go check if someone added me as a friend!

An Apology…