Just Who Is the Biigest Loser?

I just got finished watching the latest episode of this seasons “The Biggest Loser.”

I must admit, it is an intriguing show. There’s drama, tears, yelling, tears, cheering, tears, heartbreak, tears, sweat, tears….a whole bunch of tears.

Man, these people cry alot!

Now, please don’t misunderstand. I, more than anyone, can understand and sympathize with the plight of the overweight. I mean, I’ve had a weight problem all my life! My doctor said it’s because I swallow alot of aggression…along with a lot of pizza! (Okay, that’s my homage to John Candy in Stripes).

I can understand why they cry on the first episode. They can’t believe how far they let their bodies go.

I know why they cry during he challenges. The human drama is the most intense.

I know why they cry at weigh ins…overwhelming joy.

But what I think is hilarious is when someone, usually a woman (sorry girls…truth hurts!), starts to strike deals and conive with others to destroy someone else’s chances at staying in the Biggest Loser camp, and then when they achieve their goal of voting that person off, she starts to bawl like a baby! That is hilarious!

All of that aside, it is a great show. Although, one thing has always bugged me a liitle bit about reality programs: We end up watching others achieve the goals and dreams we desire. It’s great if watching the show inspires us. We all need inspiration. But it’s bad when you just watch life instead of participating.

Holy cow! That statement comes from a guy who has watched somewhere around 18 billion hours of TV, and for the first five years of his life thought Captain Kirk was his real father.

Well, times change, and people grow.

Now, I must depart. Denny Crain awaits!

Aint Love Grand!

Just came back from a wedding, and I of course have an observation.

First of all, it took me back to our wedding day 12 years ago. I was amazed that after months of tedious planning, the day just whipped by, and I honestly don’t have much of a memory of it!

I mean, I remember being at the church. I remember the priest forgetting to have me kiss the bride (I still hear about that one!). I remember the “Chicken Dance”. Yes, the Chicken Dance, the one thing my lovely bride had asked us not to have, and there it was. But other than those things, not so much.

That’s why weddings are interesting times to observe the Bride and Groom.

There’s a lot of strained smiling going on. Alot of shaking hands, hugging and laughing at akward jokes told in mixed company. And, alot of the usual comments…”The cake is beautiful!” “The Groom cleans up nice!” And, “Hey, (fill in the name), now it’s your turn to get hitched!”

But through it all, I notice one thing. The bride and groom are always at their happiest when they get the rare moment to be alone…even for a second…and enjoy each other.

Aint love grand!

The Stuff of Character

Flashback 30 years….

“Son, I know it’s high noon and 99 degrees. I know it’s a push mower, and the yard hasn’t been cut for three weeks. But, it needs to be done…and, it’ll build character.”

Why…oh why…is it that when there’s something you have to do that really, really sucks, it allegedly “builds character?”

The only reason I’m having this flashback to my innocuous, if not painful, childhood (it was only painful because the bullies wouldn’t stop beating me sensless when I refused to stop speaking in Klingon) is because of this past weekend.

It’s funny how a totally unrelated event can bring an old feeling to the surface.

As I watched my good friend Ross lament at the impending loss of his Oklahoma Sooners, one phrase popped to mind. I wanted to look Ross in the eye as he suffered through the humiliation of having potential championship dreams dashed to pieces and say,”Ross, it’ll be okay. At least it will build character.”

That was it. At that very instant in time, I had become my Dad.

I actually realized the power of that simple statement :”It’ll build character.” It’s only 3 (or 4) words, but it carries an awesome reponsibility. Never have 3 or 4 words meant so much.

To the man who says it, it means “Hah! Now you are as miserable as I!”

To the man who hears it, it means: “Where’s the nearest noose.”

Well, I was able to break that cycle before it even began. I will not become one of the countless millions of 70’s era men that have tossed that statement around with careless abandon. No, I will be a thoughtful friend, and lament with my fellow sportsfans and human beings.

In the meantime, I’m going to finish watching the Bengals on Monday Night Football. It’s brutal. But, hey…at least it builds character.