Trademark, Shrademark!

A week ago, Lifepointe Church held it’s second annual “Big Game” Party.

What the heck is a “Big Game” Party?

If we lived in Europe, it might be the World Cup (Soccer).

If we lived in a retirement home, it might be the Shuffleboard National Championship.

If we lived in France, it might be the National Surrender Championship (Yikes…did I just write that?)

We all know what it is…we’re just not allowed to say it because the NFL has clamped down mightely with their trademark protection. It’s the S*P*R Bowl. SEE!!!! They won’t even let my computer type it!

All I know is this: I throw a frisbee, not a flying disc. I use a kleenex, not a tissue.

Those companies allow people to throw their trademarked name around without threat of lawsuit. But no, not the NFL. They threaten anyone using their term for the Big Game with legal action…he same organization that gets away with huge ticket prices, tv blackouts so fans that can’t afford to buy those tickets can’t even watch the games, and $3.00 bottles of water if you can afford the ticket in.

Come on, guys…try being a little fan friendly.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to jump in my Ca*il*ac, and go down to the 7*le*en for some Twi*ki*s.

A Political Thought…

I try to avoid bringing politics or strong nationalistic feelings into this blog, but I have just read one of the funniest things I’ve seen in months.

Iran is threatening to rethink their relationship with the Netherlands if one of their TV channels broadcasts a show which shines, as they call it, “Insulting views of the Holy Koran” which was produced by one of its politicians.

Okay…let me start with this: I condone insulting anyone’s “holy book” about as much as I would someone doing it to my Bible.

That being said….

This is the same country that, just last year, hosted a national art exhibit that called the holocaust a lie.

This is the same country whose president, Akmadijamdijadimaidjadiadad, at a speech at Columbia University, said that there was not a “homosexual problem” in Iran…only days before videos and reports of beatings and tortures of Iranian homosexuals emerged.

This is the same country whose government and religious leadership (which, by the way, are interchangeable) have cried out for the total destruction of Israel and the U.S.

My question is, what type of relationship does the Netherlands have with Iran which they would even care if they jeopordized over a question of freedom of speech?

Oh, yeah…oil….

Well, no one has seen the show yet. The producer has said it is a 10 minute film which is“a call to shake off the creeping tyranny of Islamicization, ” so it probably does have a slant. I just hope that freedom in Europe can’t be shut down for a price…

And, it is funny that a country like Iran can display all of the freedom of speech it wants, such as declaring that the slaughter of millions of Jews was a lie, but refuses to let anyone else enjoy the same freedom.

At least other Islamic countries are zooming headfirst into the future…Saudi Arabia declared this week that women can check into a hotel by themselves, without a guardian, for the first time. hooray for progress!

I’ll Miss Ya, Mookie…

Well, it’s happened.

One in my group of friends has died.

Greg was a throwback to my somewhat wilder days. You know…those days of Ultra-excess. He was the Friday thru Sunday buddy…and sometimes on Mondays…Tuesdays….etc. You know what I mean.

Those were fairly carefree days. We were all young, single, makin’ some good money. We threw it around like we would always have more. The days were long, and the nights were longer. We always joked about how we were shocked that we were still alive after all we had gone thru, like survival was a badge of honor. We thought those times would last forever.

Then, one by one, we all began to meet our much better halves, get married, and drift away. All of us except Greg.

Greg was that forever single friend that was always there if we needed to escape on the rare night away from the house. Then, he would be gone from our thoughts until the next time we got the pass.

Every now and then, over the past 5 or 6 years, one of us would get the call from Greg to catch a game, or get a beer after work. But, we usually had to give him the standard “Sorry, Mook…I gotta get home tonight.”

We would often hear about “Greg” sightings now and then, but for the most part, never thought much about what he was up to.

Today, I got the call.

It’s not important how he died. It’s just important that he lived.

Over the past hours, I’ve thought about how he affected some of the things I do and say today.

If you ever hear me talking about the “dirty cheatin’ Browns (the NFL team)…that’s a Mookie.

If you ever see the precision with which I can bounce a quarter into a cup…that’s because of Mookie.

By the way….Greg’s nickname was Mookie. If you ever want to know why, just ask me sometime. It’s a hilarious story. Greg didn’t like the nickname much…but that’s okay. It seemed to fit!

Mookie loved the Colts…and it went back to the Baltimore days…not just the modern Manning Colts. I remember he had a bobble head of Johnny Unitas on his fridge.

He loved Crown Royal…but usually drank the cheaper stuff. Unless one of us was buying!

He loved the Reds…we had some great road trips to Cincinnati.

We sold cars together. 12 hour days on the lot…but we had a blast!

He’s a buddy from an era I’m glad is over…but he was still a buddy. I have no regrets the paths I took, and where I’ve ended up.

I just wish I had talked to him one more time.

Greg…Mookie…was 45.

New Year Shmoo Year

What’s all the hubub about the New Year? I’m 12 hours into it, and it seems pretty much the same as the old one did.

I still have the same bills. The same problems. The same everything.

What is the big deal?

Ok…I’ll admit. I did gain two new pounds at New years eve last night. But that’s it.

As you can tell, the same old attitude as well.

What is it about day one of a new year that makes us think things will be different? Why do we give ourselves a sense that “this year, I’m gonna _______ (insert your own resolution)?

I’ll tell you why…Hope. That is the cool thing about being human. We can hope and dream.

So on this new year’s day, I hope all your dreams come true.

I also hope that my bills go away.

I can dream, can’t I?

It’s About Time!

Thought I should get back to this. Spent the last couple of weeks taking care of my wife after her surgery, so this was on the back burner.

My thought for the day is this…thank God I’m a man.

I do not mean anything sexist by that statement. All I do mean is this: Thank God I am not a woman.

I have sat through two of my sister’s births. Now, I have been with my wife through this ordeal. Frankly, I could never deal with the pain I have seen. In fact, not only could I not deal with it…I would probably end up crying like a little girl. Yes, that’s right…a little, whiny girl.

I have seen things plucked from, pulled out of, put into and yanked from a woman’s body…my gosh…how do they do it? I called the doctor “Kevorkian” when he gave me 1 stitch. O-N-E stitch.

So, today…here’s to our women folk. May you be blessed, and may all the bad painful stuff always happen to you.

TIVO and DVR’s…The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread!

I’ve always touted the greatness of DVR’s (Digital Video Recorders). But, until Shannon’s surgery yesterday, I never knew just how great!

First, the bad news…We watch alot of TV. I mean alot. If we watch less than 50 hours per week, I would be surprised. So, needless to say, when something pops up like a surgery, it’s a relief to know that our best friends will be with us when we get home (our shows, of course!).

After staying with Shannon for 14 hours at the hospital, it was nice to be comforted by Earl Hickey when I got home. And Gil Grissom tucked me in. And, I woke up to Captain Janeway saving the Delta Quadrant.

And Shannon gets to recover to hours and hours of her old friends, too!

Man, love is grand. But Technology may be even grander!

Tough Moment

I generally try to be jovial in these posts, but right now my wife is in surgery.

It’s nothing serious…although all surgery should be taken seriously. It’s, as us men would say, “woman’s stuff.”

We’ve been married for 12 years, and neither one of us has had any surgery before, so this is a different sensation. The doc just told me it would take about an hour and a half.

I think it will be the longest hour and a half in my life.

But it gives me plenty of time to think about how much I love that lady, and how much God blessed me by giving her to me.

On a lighter note, though, about twenty seconds after they hooked her up to the happy juice, she was acting like she had had 10 shots of tequila.

Now, that was jovial!

Reliving a Cereal Childhood

I was a pretty conservative little kid growing up.

I didn’t climb trees or fences. I made my friends sit through the credits at the end of movies. I thought it was a good idea to leave for school early to see if there was anything the teacher needed help with before class. I loved classical music. And the only cereal I would eat was Wheaties.

Okay…maybe not so much conservative as boring and nerdy.

But in hindsight, the Wheaties thing was probably some type of catalyst for me. Sure, it probably started because of Bruce Jenner on the box. But something stuck.

Flash forward several decades. I’m in the cereal aisle at Walmart. I reach for the Wheaties, but something compells me to continue searching. Searching. Searching.

And there it is. Like a light in the dark.

Frankenberries.

With guilt, and perhaps a little shame, a grabbed the box.

At home, I placed the childish box on the top shelf, perhaps hoping that I would forget about my impetuous move. But, alas, I gave in to it’s tempting call…

I opened the protective bag, and a “poof” of fruity, sugary heaven wafted towards my nose. My gosh…it smelled…wonderful!

The colorful pink and red morsels crashed to the bottom of my bowl. Then, in one fateful moment, I drowned them in a wash of fat free milk. Hopefully, the fat free would counteract the spike of sugar about to enter my system.

Then, the seductive dance began. I dipped my spoon, and out of the ceramic tomb arose the glistening breakfast treat. The light from the flourescent kitchen bulb hit just right, making it look like a work of art from DaVinci himself!

Then…then I ate it. One bite. Then the next. I couldn’t stop. It was delicious! Is this what I missed during my childhood years? Would my life had differed had I plunged into the world of sugar ladened cereals instead of my old friend Wheatie?

I do not know.

But I do know this…I think I’ll have another bowl.

LifePointe Media Guy Ponders 42

Today, I am 42. Do you know what the signifigance of 42 is?

According to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a race of vast pan-dimensional hyper-intelligent beings constructed the second greatest computer in all of time and space, Deep Thought, to calculate The Ultimate Answer to The Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Distracted by a demarcation dispute with two philosophers, a “simple answer”is requested. After seven and a half million years of computing cycles, Deep Thought’s answer is: forty two.

-“I think the problem is that the question was too broadly based…”
-“Forty two?!” yelled Loonquawl. “Is that all you’ve got to show for seven and a half million years’ work?”
-“I checked it very thoroughly,” said the computer, “and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you’ve never actually known what the question is.”

Well, as I ponder turning 42 today, I believe that Deep Thought was correct…I don’t really know what the question is.

Not to get too philisophical, but I seem to always be searching for the answers, but the question is what is really elusive.

Captain Picard (ALERT: Star Trek Reference Approaching) put it best in the movie Generations: “I fear I have more years behind me than in front of me.”

How many of us spend it all searching, and none of it enjoying? Mary Kay (Yes, the Cosmetic Queen) once said that too many people die with their music still inside.

Wow. What a cool, and true, thought.

As the years whip by, it’s hard not to feel regret for lost moments and opportunities. But, If the good Book (the Bible, not “The Big Bathroom Book of Jokes IV”) taught us anything, it’s that God absolutely does not want us to live in the past. Regret is futile, and harmful.

So, on this brisk Kentucky Fall day, I will celebrate the fact that humanity has been blessed to know me for the past 42 years. I will not ponder my failings and faults, and I will not feel old today. I will treat it like a re-birth!

That is, if a slice of quadruple chocolate fudge cake with caramel-coconut frosting doesn’t kill me first!

The Numbers are In!

The people have spoken…I will be a Speedo model in my next job! I’m shaving my legs as I write. Wait…I don’t have to shave? Oh well…

Now, on a more morbid note, if it was your last meal, what would you choose? Let us know on the new poll to the right.