What Is This World Coming To?

You know…

I can take increased gas prices. The ever widening gap between political parties is something i can live with. Almost every sports team I follow stinks to the highest reaches of heaven (pardon the expression), and I’m okay with that.

But now, it’s gone too far.

I just read this headline:FDA: Castleberry’s, Austex and Kroger Brands Chili Sauces Linked to Paralyzing Botulism.

Now they’ve screwed with something I love…the delicious canned chili sauces I use to cover a naked, vulnerable hot dog. First it was saccharin causes cancer, now this! Must everything I love try to kill me? I mean, if it was a virus that would just give me the flu, I could handle that. Or one that produced a nervous twitch, yes. But paralyzing botulism?

Well, now wait a minute…is paralyzing all that bad? And what’s a little botulism amongst friends?

Pass the can opener and nuke the dogs…I’m goin’ in!

Another Life Lesson

Why is it that when something doesn’t go your way, people (usually our fathers), tell us that it builds character? Why do all the things that suck build character?

For once, I’d like to win a million dollars, and have my dad come up to me and say, “Way to go, Son. That’s gonna build character!” Or have Publishers Clearinghouse knock on my door and say,”Mr. Whigham, we have a check for 100,000 character-building dollars for you!”

I just completed a 4 week script writing contest as some of you know. It was pretty grueling! Alot of late nights, alot of sweating out the final minutes before the weekly finalists were announced. Hard work!And today, the final 5 finalists were announced…I was not one of them.

At the moment of truth, I heard my dad standing over my shoulder saying, “Way to build character, Son!”

Now, it wasn’t all bad. It did help me to rekindle a dream, and i did meet some great people during the event (I hope we stay in touch!). But after 41 years, I would like to build character by winning something!

I would like to see if I could keep from becoming a jerk if I won a million bucks. I would like to see if I could handle fame and or fortune. I’d like to see how I could handle a posse, entourage and groupies…

Oh well…right now, I guess, I’m happy to have a posse of one…my wife. By the way…where is she? I haven’t seen her for about four weeks?